UPDATE:
We went back to the orphanage on Monday and had a far better experience. It turns out going in the mornings where there are organized games going on is a recipe for a far better time. The children were still energetic and forceful with their love but this time there were distracted by red light green light. Halfway through our time, we ventured back up to the babies room to find a happier place meeting us. I learned I had to focus on the positive while at the orphanage and sometimes that meant picking up the more lively baby over the very sick one.
I know it's horrible but I've started to have favorites. Willie is a 3-year-old who hangs out with the older kids and has the sweetest face. He always acts like he isn't excited to see me but I can always see a grin creep across his face as he tries to hide from me. This is my cheesy thought while I'm there. Next year at college our mascot is Willie the Wildcat. A mascot is there to encourage and be the face of victory and to spur on the fighters. When I look at Willie even if I want to be home or am sad about the state of the children I am reminded to keep up the good fight, to stay positive, and to not let the devil get to me. This little boy has no idea how much his smiles inspire me and keep me coming back.
Up in the babies room, Esther and I have bonded a lot, mostly because I pick her up more than the others, I know, I'm horrible. She's an 8-month-old who is not overly smiley but I appreciate her steadiness, she never cries and is always in a pleasant mood.
Almost every missionary in Guinea got sick this week so we have still not started our English teaching. There was a lot of hanging out this week and book reading which drove me a little nuts to be honest. I have, however, just finished a book about the high cost of the fashion industry and it made me so excited to start learning how I can turn around the fashion industry. I've also been reading, to Kill a Mockingbird, one of my all time favorite books thanks to Junior English. It made me a little sad remembering running around as a kid in the summers. I was also reminded of all of the life lessons Atticus instills in his children about putting yourself in someone else's shoes before you pass judgment on them.
CULTURE:
I learned this week that after a woman has a baby they don't reveal the name for a week. The father or grandfather will whisper the name to the baby so that the baby will know but will not tell the family and friends who are invited to the ceremony.
I also learned that in Guinea, at the hospital, if you do not have the money up front for the medical care you need, they will not treat you. Many women will deliver a baby and die in the waiting room simply because their policy is to not care for anyone who does not have the money right then and there.
I learned that Guinean church is 3+ hours, but that they have beautiful singing voices.
We also learned that if you as a woman are wearing a nose ring or an ankle bracelet that means you are a prostitute. Thankfully the younger generation doesn't believe this since one of the interns have both, but apparently, the older generation still holds to this belief.
WHAT THE LORD IS TEACHING ME:
This has probably been one of the hardest weeks of my life with Jesus. On Tuesday night I was so terrified to close my eyes I probably got 3 hours of sleep. This whole time I have been here I have been falling asleep around 1 am which has really taken a toll on me. On Wednesday night I was so frustrated that this trip has not been the way I thought it would be. I'm used to wide open spaces where I can roam free and we are in a compound with high walls and loud noises outside. I've asked God many times why he called me here and what he wants me to do.
On Thursday I woke up at 4 in the morning after a team from Ohio arrived and threw up for about an hour. I'm still not sure what I had and I'm still not feeling 100% but I know my mother sent out probably 10,000 text messages asking for prayer which is probably why on Friday I felt much better.
Jesus is definitely teaching me to not assume what his plans are. I thought I knew what he wanted to teach me here and I'm finding it's looking more like: not to be reliant on others for spiritual growth, and finding joy and happiness wherever you are.
As I've had a lot of alone time trying to get well, my mind has taken me to so many memories of times I was so content, from family time in Colorado, to playing with kids at a refugee church, to church and Young Life camp to even roaming the halls at Trinity. It's funny that we think or at least I did, that going overseas I would be so much happier and I would be so much more fulfilled and content with the Lord. I'm also learning Wichita isn't such a bad place. Wherever the Lord wants you is where you will be most happy and fulfilled.
PRAYER:
Prayer for total healing for all of the missionaries here is much needed and felt.
Prayer that I would choose joyfulness, that I would not be easily irritated and that I would just decide that this is where Jesus wants me and I'm going to have to make the best of it
Prayer that I would start to connect with someone on a deeper level, that I would find that community and be able to share stories
Prayer that I would take the focus off of myself and how I'm feeling and onto others and how I can best serve and pray for them
Prayer for our teaching at La Zone this week that we would be respected as three white women and would try to make sense of the English language.
Prayer that I will be able to stop focusing so much on back home and missing everyone and more on what I am doing right here and right now and being content that the Lord has brought me here.
SIDE NOTE:
I only have one photo this week because that's all I took. I've been thinking a lot about my generation and how every moment has to be captured and the amount of time and effort we spend on pictures. I wanted to enjoy this week away from my phone and soak up the memories. I also had to do a deep heart check behind my motive for photos. I never ever want to use a child for gain.
Ice cream with the team and Maclae after church and lunch.
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